Do do do the PQQ

Along with seemingly every other agency in Scotland we at w00tonomy have just completed the pre-qualification questionnaire, the first stage in the process of trying to become one of the companies that supplies digital marketing services to the Scottish Government. It’s a massive contract so the PQQ is a big deal.

Of course, we weren’t phased by the “no win, no job” nature of the task, nor were we at all perturbed by the “spend the next three years feeding your family out of discarded takeaway boxes” ramifications of failure. From a position of Zen-like calm we have come up with our definitive guide to a crucial aspect of this very serious process.

So we humbly present:

Ten things not to do when filling out the PQQ

  • Respond using someone else’s text creation facility.
  • Refer to the Scottish “Executive” at any point.
  • Supply copies of your audited accounts written in green crayon with smiley faces drawn in all the zeros.
  • Attach “candid” photographs of the bid team as if they had been “surprised in the shower”.
  • Quote heavily from N.W.A.’s ground-breaking album Straight Outta Compton.
  • Make any reference whatsoever to Yes, Minister. The Department of Comment and Satirical Oversight in the Juxtapositional Observation Directorate has ruled that, following a 17-month review period, such portayals of the Civil Service as bureaucratic are “not amusing, humourous, diverting, entertaining, mirthful, droll or similarly deemed to be suitable for positive reference”. So suck on that, agency boy.
  • Answer Question 30(B) with the words: “But isn’t this the same as 30(A)???”.
  • Spray the PQQ document with perfume to give it “that personal touch”.
  • Spray the PQQ document with blood to give it “that personal touch”.
  • Wait until 2.59pm on deadline day to upload your response – only to find that the system has crashed because everyone is trying to do that at the same time.
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Web 3.0: the future is now, says Tim Berners-Lee

For those of you who are still struggling with what this Web 2.0 thing is, I’ve some bad news (though really it’s great news): Web 3.0 is just around the corner, according to the man who invented these tangled Webs.

Tim Berners-Lee says in an interview with Paul Miller that the Semantic Web – a crucial part of the Web 3.0 vision – is open for business.

“Wow,” I hear you say. “Web 3.0. The Semantic Web. Great … Err, what the **** does that actually mean?”

Well, the sainted Sir TBL puts it this way:

Web 2.0 is a stovepipe system. It’s a set of stovepipes where each site has got its data and it’s not sharing it. What people are sometimes calling a Web 3.0 vision [is] where you’ve got lots of different data out there on the Web and you’ve got lots of different applications, but they’re independent. A given application can use different data. An application can run on a desktop or in my browser, it’s my agent. It can access all the data, which I can use and everything’s much more seamless and much more powerful because you get this integration. The same application has access to data from all over the place.

Now in my view all data is content. What we are looking at is a future where you will be able to access all data (or content) from any device or any application anywhere. But that does not mean that the Facebook Vampires application will stalk you to the toilet or “private personal enhancement medication” emails will start tumbling out of your iPod. One of the key characteristics of what’s known as Web 2.0 has been the organising of data (content) to enhance relevance. As technology allows the universal sharing of data this trend towards completely targeted relevance will become even more pronounced.

It’s good to know that TBL believes William Gibson’s oft-quoted dictum: “The future is already here, it’s just unevenly distributed.”